What happened to our communities? What happened to “It takes a village to raise a child”.
What happened to looking out for one another? What happened to respecting your elders?
These are questions that I have been asking myself for a long time now.
I grew up on the west side of Rochester and no matter how hood we wanted to say it was we had a community. I remember standing at the corner of Wellington and West High terrace almost every day in the summer with my friends. No matter what time of night it was we had eyes on us. The parents from that area knew the kids and who they belonged to! They were not afraid to talk to other parents, parents told each other “hey please tell me if my child is doing something wrong”. There is a huge lack of respect across the board in our community. Parents don’t respect parents and kids don’t respect any adults. I think the main thing to me is parents need to grow up.
I recently had a discussion about this same topic with one of my co-workers. He told me he recently ran into this issue at the bowling alley. His son was acting out while bowling, so he took him into the locker room to talk to him. When he walked in there was a couple of kids running around the locker room, flipping off of the lockers. He told them to stop and to leave the locker room. The kids looked at him crazy and continued playing. He then repeated himself and one little boy said”I’m going to tell my mom”. The boy came back with his mom and before she could find out what happened. She started yelling saying” Don’t ever yell at my son worry about your own kids”. My co-worker tried to explain what happened and still no understanding from the mother. She then tells her son “If anybody else tells you something come get me”.
This is what’s wrong with our communities now. Now if that same boy flipped off the locker and hurt himself, would she yell at herself for not watching him? Probably not! But when another adult tells her son to do something so he does not get hurt she yells at the person who is doing her job. What happened to the day’s when parents talked to other parents. What happened to asking what happened before you go off? Now I know there is a lot of weirdo’s and strange people in this world so you have to be careful of interactions with adults. But when you go off at a bowling alley because you wasn’t keeping an eye on your own child is simply wrong. Adults need to grow up and see their fault in things.
Parents this is a fight for the lives of our youth. Don’t wait until your 15year old gets murdered at 11:30pm at night to start looking for community help. Don’t wait until a 14year old gets raped by an owner of a business in our own community to start the process. START TODAY!
I don’t have all the answers to stop this but I do know it start with my household and it will spread in my community. Take ownership of your child’s Life become more involved and meet his/hers friends parents also. We need to take back our community one step at a time.
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Parents don’t want you telling their “baby” anything or telling them anything about their “baby” because they take it as a personal assault on their parenting skills. If I’ve heard it once, I’ve heard it a thousand times: I had that child. Nobody can tell me how to raise my baby. I remember the day when the school called a mother or father at work and that kid would sh*t his/her pants because an ass whooping was on the way. Today, the “parent” will come in flipping on the teacher ” what did you do to upset my baby” or “they wouldn’t act like this is you didn’t do something to them” It’s out of control. The parent doesn’t hold the child accountable and doesn’t want anyone to either. Now we have a 2-3 generations of adults/children that don’t have any sense of community.
Remember riding the bus and being rowdy…until an adult got on? Remember how quiet it got? Remember when kids weren’t allowed to be a part of grown folk conversation? Remember when “I’m going to call your Daddy” scared the bejesus out of a kid? Remember getting your butt whooped for one incident 2-3 times by 2-3 different people? Remember when the the real thugs in the hood would send you home because you didn’t need to be outside hanging with them? All of that is gone…and for what?
Word I agree this world is selfish now
Infinite7154 Those was the good old days. I grew up in the Bronx before I moved to rochester and if we was out on the stoop late night …the older cats would run us upstairs or ring your momma doorbell to tell her you was outside. And this was in soundview projects!!!! I have 3 kids and i can say im not the best parent but i learn and adjust. Parents need to stop feeling like people is trying to go at them and just listen and realize that what your being told is for the greater good. I personally tell Adults that my son be around to call me at the drop of the dime. I’m always availble and if they call i thank them for not letting my kid look like a Mess when he is not with me. We all can grow as parents and none of us have perfect childern so lets help each other. NOW THAT’S A Real COMMUNITY!!!
The problem now is babys raising babys. 30 year old mothers have children that are 15, so now it’s not a parenting relationship, its a friendship. That 15 year old doesn’t get raised right, so she goes out has children and the cycle repeats itself. My grandmother and great grandmother didn’t take any mess, they would beat the breaks off their children if they were doing wrong. Now parents are saying, “I’m not gonna do that to my kids”, so with each generation the discipline gets weaker and weaker, it was only a matter of time before discipline became non-existant and here we are.
Yes Lance I remember family memebers coming over just to beat me LOL. If you got in trouble the whole family would know which embrassed the mess out of you. No child is perfect and its only one way for them to learn from thier mistakes, but we need to correct those mistakes so they dont continue
Boy boy boy, I remember growing up on spruce street off of gennesee. W had a two block radious but 5 five mile nieghbor hood watch. Every time I thought I was being sneaky and going further then I was suppose to, by the time I have reached my destination my mom was sitten there waiting on me with a belt, and that belt had a name BETSY! Boy betsy was tough, that dang belt still in one peace today lol. Its the easiest things that where done back then that seem to be the hardest to do now. Just a simple phone call to a kids parent use to be good enough help to make sure kids stayed in line. Now you dam there have to video tape todays kids put them on you tube before the parent actually believe there child is doing any thing wrong. I remember the days where I picked out my own switch, how bout the days when punishments made you think twice about acting out. We getting soft, and we need to step it up, we are raising an abundance of kids who are disrespectful fearless to adults and quick to act grown even though they havnt hit puberty. Whats going my people? where did we go wrong? I get that it starts at my house but when are we gonna take control of our streets, our society and get these kids back in line?
Amen!!! Are the early 80’s babies the last Generation of real adults?
seems like it
The reason for this is that the democratic government has taken over every inner city in the country and has said to young mothers, “You don’t need a father in the home to raise your children, we will do it for you by providing you with food stamps and welfare” and so women (through the women’s liberation of the 1970) have been brainwashed to believe that they don’t need a man in their life to do “anything” including raising their children. Your encounter in the locker room was a perfect example. And so women for the last few generation continue to be brainwashed by the democratic party (where the women liberation movement stands) that men are no longer valued in our society. Young boys are now being raise by women who show and teach them it is a woman’s job to raise and provide for a boy (who eventually turn into adult males) and that adult male will continue to believe that its a women job to do everything in the family unit, so when he gets another women pregnant the cycle continues all over again… he will leave the women to take care and raise the children all by herself … instead of taking on his role and responsibility of a REAL man to raise and provide for his child…..but he does not know how to do this because he was never shown and taught by a man on HOW to do it…therefore our ENTIRE society has been turned up-side-down and backwards due to the lack of the male figure in our families and in our lives. Time to go back to the basics and let men be MEN and women be WOMEN…..Women CAN NOT fill the shoes of a MAN and we are seeing the effects of that decision. But of course all these inner city communities continue to vote democratic and continue to allow the democrats to rule over them, not realizing the democratic party is responsible for destroying their communities.
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