In recent years there has been a breakdown in the family structure. We have been doing things a bit backwards, or have we? I see that many women are playing the role of wifey but not actually becoming the wife. So how does that happen? Do women turn a blind eye to what is in her heart, or is she just settling for a satisfactory position?
Many women, more than I can count have provided their man a seed, or become a live in love, but have yet to see that beautiful day when he makes her his eternal love. That means for many young ladies every holiday, birthday, or Valentines Day she is wondering will this be it. Will he ask me to be his wife? What actually prevents a man from asking his long time love/baby moms to wed him? Is it fear? Or is it the thought of NEVER being able to be with another woman? Is it the finality of being someone’s husband, or is it bottom line the responsibility?
I have personally heard men make a lot of excuses about marriage: she has to clean up her credit, we have to save some money for the wedding, we have to stop arguing. So let me get this straight, you can live with her, have a baby, pay bills together, rent an apartment, have joint accounts, co-sign a car, but you can’t committ to marraige? Is it because you think you’re too young, maybe you’ll “miss out” on what is out there? Or is it because you know you are not living up to the boyfriend role let alone the husband?
Unfortunately many of our men have not been taught by men, therefore the thought of being married probably has not been given much thought. At the end of the day the question is what goes through that man’s mind. What makes a man know without a shadow of a doubt that he has found his soul mate? Is it divine intervention, is it that sixth sense, or is it the thought of not having her that solidifies that he has met “the one”.
Mother’s what are we teaching our boys? Whether we are raising them alone or with help. What are we teaching our young men about committment and responsibility. Are we expressing how it feels to be without a man and emphasizing how important it is for our boys to become men and be the head of the household. Or is that a thing of the past? What about our daughters, have we become a society of “significant others” or are we teaching her to love herself, and get to know her mate before comitting to a man in any way?
Ladies let your man know what you expect, where you see yourself and who you want to be in his life, Wife or Wifey! If you want to be his wife, stop fronting and acting as though you are truly satisfied with your current position. Just be real with yourself and him. And fellas if you love that woman, then show her. Make it happen! You don’t need the fairy tale wedding, that’s for show. You don’t need a 10 carat ring, she’ll be satisfied with a .5 carat princess cut. And if she’s just worried about the ring, then there is your answer. Ladies and gents let’s work on bringing the family unit back in style.
