The views and opinions expressed in this blog are solely of the individual (Infinite7154) and are not the views of Mindbenderent, its parent, affiliate, or subsidiary companies. Now let’s get it!
I got quite a few responses to my last blog “Act Like A Man” and I thank all for taking the time to read and respond. What I found to be interesting was what the fellas said. More than once I heard “yeah but if she wants me to this then she needs to do that”. My dudes…GTFOH!(I’ve been talked to about my language) You should exhibit all the things I spoke of regardless how the woman acts. That’s what makes you a man. If the women doesn’t behave in a manner that you feel earns flowers, leave her alone. That being said, ladies, if you have any intention of KEEPING said good man, then there are some things you need to be doing on a consistent basis. You can’t just expect a man to do all of these great things or behave in such a phenomenal manner if you’re acting like…you fill in the blanks.
Let’s be clear ladies, men have feelings. We are emotional at times. Our feelings get hurt. We need to feel needed. Our ego’s need to be protected. We not as strong as you would like us to be all the time. Most women don’t really understand these things; most men won’t admit to these things. So when you’re flipping out, acting like a you know what, it bothers us. We have a hard time expressing how we feel because we really aren’t taught to do it and, at times, we get shut down by our women.
The first thing we need you to do as our women is to communicate with us. I know this sounds like a given but it is the most overlooked aspect of a healthy relationship. We need to have the ability to express what we’re going through. We need to be able to talk to you about what you’re doing without you saying things like: Are you kidding me, You can’t be serious, Get your panites out of a bunch, I can’t believe you’re talking to me about that, etc etc etc. The bottom line is this, none of that helps us be a better couple. You expect us, as men to listen to you. You want us to understand you, empathize with you, feel your pain. Unfortunately, you aren’t willing to give those same things. It’s amazing how some women view men as these ogres. I told my oldest god-daughter she hurt my feelings and she said to me, dead ass serious, You don’t have any feelings.
Since we are talking about communication…ladies, no matter what you believe, no matter what your mother or auntie or Nana taught you, two people can’t be heard at the same time. In order for you to listen, you have to be quiet. Yes, that means you have to shut your mouth and actually LISTEN to what your man is saying. LISTEN! You know the saying, you have two ears and one mouth. You should be listening twice as much as you’re talking. It amazes me to have a heated discussion and listen to everything my woman has said only to be constantly interrupted when it was my time to speak. I have a news flash ladies, WHAT YOU HAVE TO SAY ISN’T MORE IMPORTANT THAN WHAT I’M SAYING!
Everyone wants and needs to be respected. Never more so than the respect of your significant other. I want to be able to come home and relieve the stresses the world has heaped on my shoulders. I don’t want to come home and hear my woman nagging me about what I didn’t do, what I can’t do, and what I should have been doing. My home should be my Fortress of Solitude. There should be peace and tranquility inside the walls of my home. My enemy should not be the one that’s sleeping in the same bed with me. When a man is disrespected by his woman, it is the worst feeling in the world. Ladies, you’re not physical but the verbal poison that spews from your mouth hurts more than getting shot. We look to you for support, not to be tore down. We look to you to comfort us, not to get verbally abused. Ladies, if you heard somebody in the streets talk to your man the way you do, how would you look at him? Would you question his manhood? If it was a female, would you fight her for talking to him like that? If you would, then why would you talk to him in that manner? Respect also extends to the children. We know you are the mother. We know you believe you know best. We know these are your babies. Fine. That doesn’t mean I don’t know what I’m doing as a parent. And it definitely doesn’t mean you should undermine what I have said to the child. You disagree, wait until we are alone, voice your opinion. Hear what I have to say. Let me explain what I did and why I did it. This is especially important when we’re dealing with a blended family.
Finally ladies, keep it simple with us. I live by the two F’s when I’m in a relationship. Fuck me and feed me. That’s it. It’s that simple. You want me to come home instead of being in the bar? You want me in your bed instead of being off with another women? Make sure I have the two F’s. You implement the two F’s along with listening to your man and respecting your man, you’ll get to keep your man and maintain that long term relationship with your man that you’re looking for. I hope this is helpful, if it’s not, you want to be single.
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