Ok people, this is going to be a first for Mindbenderent.com. We are going to have a for/against debate blog right here, right now. My esteemed colleague, Lingo and I have a total difference of opinion about a very touchy subject and I need you, the people, to straighten his crazy ass out. Be clear, he is a very intelligent man. He keeps me up to speed on all the goings on in Washington D.C. and makes some sort of sense out of nonsense. BUT…on this subject, he sounds as nutty as Money Makin’ Mitt! He is under the totally delusional idea that it is ok to not only keep in contact with exes but also to continue “friendships” with them. He even takes it a step further, he’ll tell the new new that if she don’t like the situation, she can kick rocks! He is out of his motherf@ck*ng mind! I don’t see any self respecting male or female going for any of the bs he’s talking about but I want to hear it from you….my people.
Don’t get it twisted…we have all been there. We break up, we move on…and then we go and stick our toe back in that familiar pool of water. It starts with a text or two or a like on Facebook. Then you get a call late night. The number may be blocked, it may not be…but you know exactly who it is. You know exactly what it is. You and the new new are happy, but you love the ex. You miss the ex. You wonder what could have been…and you forget why they’re your ex in the first place. Now, you’re texting and talking and Facebooking which, in my opinion, will lead you to wanting “that old thing back”!
Splittsville
I am confident in myself. I know what I am and who I am. I’m also no fool. I know feelings and emotions can supersede good old common sense. I broke up with a straight up nutcase. I met a beautiful woman, smart, not outwardly looney, good head on her shoulders. You want to know how I messed that up? I went backwards ONE time. I went back and had sex with my ex and it blew up in my face. From that day forward, I knew I could never let that happen to me again. Now I messed up and me and this ex didn’t even have a baby together. I’ve found it’s even worse in those situations. There’s this baby that can be used as a pawn (Read Baby Mama/Baby Daddy issues Pt. 1 & 2 as refreshers on this subject) by the mother or father to keep in “contact” with each other. And you are on the outside trying to figure out what the hell is going on.
Pay Attention
He cheated on you, but you feel the need to text him happy Thanksgiving. She had sex with your man but you make sure you get to her family reunion. He got some broad pregnant while he was with you but you want to wish him a happy birthday. She cursed you out so often you started thinking your name was “Bitch Ass Nigga” but she wants ice cream and you’re the only one in the world who can get it for her. He put hands AND feet on you but you just have to go to his momma house for her birthday party. Get The Fuck Outta Here! Are you kidding me?! You can’t be serious?! And you expect me or any other self respecting person to go for that bullshit?!
I’m not saying all situations with all exes are terrible. In the situations I’ve been in and the situations that I’ve seen most other people go through, exes are a big no no. There’s no need for you to keep in contact with them if you’re dealing with me. Period. Point blank. End of story. I don’t put myself in situations where it LOOKS like something is going on. None of my exes can stop by my house for coffee and a conversation. None of my exes can text me late night and get me out of bed to get her something. None of my exes can get me to do them a “favor”. None of my exes can call me to bail them out of a situation they got themselves into. It may sound harsh but the truth of the matter is I don’t want to give any of them HOPE. HOPE is such a strong motivator and once I give an ex an ounce of HOPE, I might as well break up with my girl right now because it’s about to get ugly. People we all have that ex that as soon as you attempt to be cordial or kind of nice, it gets out of control and they won’t quit. They won’t stop texting or calling or inboxing you. Why? Because YOU gave them HOPE!
Crazy...Deranged
People…they are an ex for a reason. If you still have feelings for this person or you think you still may want to work it out, don’t start another relationship. It’s not fair to the new person. You’re about to break their heart for no reason. It’s completely and totally selfish. Now, if you have decided to move on, move completely on. There’s no half stepping in this situation. If his momma is sick, I get it. Momma Love never did anything to you. But other than that, let that go. No I can’t put you on my insurance. No I can’t help your sister plan her baby shower. No you can’t borrow my car. Yes, I un-friended you on Facebook. I don’t need to know what you’re doing and you don’t need to know what I’m doing. Yes, when you call me you’re blocked or at the least going straight to voicemail. We have nothing to talk about. And if you drop by my house unannounced, I am going to come to the door butt ass naked with my new new looking like a 2013 Pam Grier and crush your little heart. Remember, you’re an ex for a reason.